On this day just one year ago (for those that have followed since day one) I started asking for prayers on Kennedy's Facebook Page.
Kennedy went into the OR for her second brain/spinal surgery. I almost fainted after walking her into the operating room and had to take a few minutes in a closed off quiet room with a Child Life Specialist who just didn't believe that I was okay.
After a legitimate panic attack, I joined my family and prayed and prayed. Those soul wrenching prayers.
Hours and hours later I got that mom gut feeling.
Something is wrong....
Something is very wrong...
(I will leave out some details for obvious reasons)...
I went up to see her and oh no..... oh no.... OH NO!!!!!!!! (skip some time)
Wheezing....Shortness of breath....stridor... oh no...oh no.... OH NO!!!
Emergency teams all around me. NO time for written consents. All verbal. Lots of doctors, teams of specialists. ICU nurses and staff... the Chaplain they sent up. Kennedy's eyes glazed over.
My heart breaking....
Blood running, her body jerking, my soul crashing.
Even attempting to go back to that place to write this post sends my body into shock. My pit in my stomach just started shaking. This part of the story ends here.
Starting yesterday we began celebrating her. Her life. So many times people only celebrate people's life AFTER they are dead. Well, Kennedy won't be dying anytime soon and I won't make that mistake.
I will celebrate her RIGHT NOW.... We went to her favorite restaurant and mall out of town, cracked jokes, took photos, and listened to music we love.
Today I have an entire night planned. I wrote her a poem, I wrote a song that I will perform on the acoustic guitar and we will have a movie night and her favorite meal.
A year, a day, an hour can make all the difference. I always knew God wouldn't take her from me. Her work here is not done. This daughter of mine is amazing.
Never believe that the story is over. Never let anyone tell you what God can do. Never believe that it's too late to start being whoever you want to be or doing whatever you want to do.
Kennedy has taught me that this life can be whatever you make it. The changes that we have made in the last year are just the beginning of this new life that we've imagined.
And we are so grateful.
It was so amazing to see her in the sunshine, running and enjoying herself.
But...she had a few dizzy spells. Vertigo is very real and it sucks. Really badly.
We skipped out on the last 12 minutes of the scrimmage.
Made it home and...ugh...
Kennedy got a major headache... started throwing up and it lasted on and off for hours until 10 pm.
I hate tonsee her feeling so badly. One hour of eunning and playing turned into 5 hours of illness. Not sure if they are related, but she has been throeing up with her headaches for two weeks now. So...
It is time to call her doctors. Ughhhh. The red light went off that it's time.
Please just stop for a moment and say a dedicated prayer for my daughter. Pray that her daily life can experience a bit more quality and that these migraine/vomit combinations are not a sign of anything severe.
Then stop and be grateful to God for your own health and the health of your children.
Kennedy always going to the meditation altar and prays to God. I catch her sometimes just praying out loud to God.
She prays for peace. Health. Mainly for other people. I love this about her. It reminds me to STOP, get centered and focus on what is truly important. Her health and her grace throughout this process.
Sometimes people say that they are praying for her and I tell them to continue. Really pray.
🌼Take a minute and breathe
🌼Bring a picture of my sweet angel to your mind and see her as healed and whole
🌼End the prayer by thanking God for all the blessings you have in your own life.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart for all the people who continue to hold well wishes in their hearts. Bless you.
Hey! This blog will be written from my perspective as mom on raising this amazing kid with special needs.
My hope is to educate people/other moms/kiddos/teachers on how to co-exist with my very special child and special kiddos indeed.
A Super Special Mom
I am the single mom to this amazing kiddo named Kennedy. We love to paint together, take pictures, look for Bigfoot, and make tons of food! Join me as I chronicle the ups and downs of raising a kiddo with special needs.