On this day just one year ago (for those that have followed since day one) I started asking for prayers on Kennedy's Facebook Page.
Kennedy went into the OR for her second brain/spinal surgery. I almost fainted after walking her into the operating room and had to take a few minutes in a closed off quiet room with a Child Life Specialist who just didn't believe that I was okay.
After a legitimate panic attack, I joined my family and prayed and prayed. Those soul wrenching prayers.
Hours and hours later I got that mom gut feeling.
Something is wrong....
Something is very wrong...
(I will leave out some details for obvious reasons)...
I went up to see her and oh no..... oh no.... OH NO!!!!!!!! (skip some time)
Wheezing....Shortness of breath....stridor... oh no...oh no.... OH NO!!!
Emergency teams all around me. NO time for written consents. All verbal. Lots of doctors, teams of specialists. ICU nurses and staff... the Chaplain they sent up. Kennedy's eyes glazed over.
My heart breaking....
Blood running, her body jerking, my soul crashing.
Even attempting to go back to that place to write this post sends my body into shock. My pit in my stomach just started shaking. This part of the story ends here.
Starting yesterday we began celebrating her. Her life. So many times people only celebrate people's life AFTER they are dead. Well, Kennedy won't be dying anytime soon and I won't make that mistake.
I will celebrate her RIGHT NOW.... We went to her favorite restaurant and mall out of town, cracked jokes, took photos, and listened to music we love.
Today I have an entire night planned. I wrote her a poem, I wrote a song that I will perform on the acoustic guitar and we will have a movie night and her favorite meal.
A year, a day, an hour can make all the difference. I always knew God wouldn't take her from me. Her work here is not done. This daughter of mine is amazing.
Never believe that the story is over. Never let anyone tell you what God can do. Never believe that it's too late to start being whoever you want to be or doing whatever you want to do.
Kennedy has taught me that this life can be whatever you make it. The changes that we have made in the last year are just the beginning of this new life that we've imagined.
And we are so grateful.
I am the single mom to this amazing kiddo named Kennedy. We love to paint together, take pictures, look for Bigfoot, and make tons of food! Join me as I chronicle the ups and downs of raising a kiddo with special needs.